Signs You’re A Little Too Into Craft Beer
If you haven’t been able to notice by now, we’re pretty into craft beer here at PorchDrinking. We totally geek out for rare beer tappings, crazy pour lists at festivals, and getting that call from your buddy asking how much Heady Topper you want sent your way.
However, we’ve also come to recognize that sometimes people tend to get a little TOO into craft beer. And while we know many of you all aren’t that into GIFs, some of these pictures and GIFs perfectly capture signs you’re a little too into craft beer. Special thanks to Alex Cadice of InterNEAT fame and Erin Horn for tracking down these GIFs.
Your travel plans revolve around visiting breweries, beer fests and tappings.
Similarly, your house search revolved around the criteria of: basement size for aging or brewing beer, yard space for growing hops, proximity to a craft beer store and proximity to a neighborhood brewery/beer bar.
You cringe when you hear someone ordering “a light colored beer”.
(Read: 2021 Beer Release Calendar Roundup)
A majority of your glassware comes from pint nights or breweries.
You have a closet/attic/cellar full of beer that will likely not be drunk for another few years.
(Read: Why I’m Done Cellaring Beer This Year)
You research the regional water used in beers.
You get giddy at the sight of Sam Calagione.
You actually know who Sam Calagione is.
(Read: Why I Stopped Rating Beers on Untappd)
You consider people you’ve never met, but traded beer with, as your close friends.
Your fridge, water bottle, laptop, notebook, room, car are all covered in brewery stickers.
Stay up on the latest beer releases from your favorite breweries. Follow our 2021 Beer Release Calendar Roundup!
You spent the entirety of the movie Drinking Buddies excitedly pointing out Midwest brewery shout-outs and references.
You’ve started using words like mouthfeel, malty, weight, gravity, balance, hopped, finish, and most notably head, in everyday conversations but in a nontraditional and unintentionally sexual way.
You own one of these shirts… seriously, just stop.
You’ve been kicked out of a bar for yelling at the bartender about the use of pint glasses.
You fly Southwest because of the free checked bags.
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The kid on the computer is the best gif of all time. OF ALL TIME.
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Guilty of most of these except, not only do I excitedly point out Midwest brewery shout outs and references, I was an extra in the film.
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Every single one of these items could just as easily been said about the wine community and the Single Malt Whiskey folks. These are GOOD things: caring about what water is used, being INVOLVED in your own culture. This kind of idiotic crap of tossing everyone who embraces a passion for craft beer into a handy little bag marked “Hipster” indicates far more about the youth-centric attitudes of people who say/write such things than it does about the people they lampoon. I’m 63 years old, white, suburban, Democratic, religious, smarter than you, financially waaaay better off than you, and have never once been “cool” or “hip” a day in my life…and I find all this stuff positive. Now…say this was all in fun and say, “Hey, old man, cantcha take a JOKE?” That’s the usual poly for somebody who get called out on nonsense like this. But the FACT is that you write this, clueless people read it, and then they run around like baby ducks, imprinted with your baloney, and spread this impression to all their similarly gullible friends. And those of us who are proud of the craft beer culture have to listen to their tedious proclamations. Hey, it’s the internet and you’ll get recognized. But you’ll still be a silly ass for writing it.
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Sounds like you’re taking an Internet article just a touch too seriously. Laugh it off and learn to laugh at yourself as a craft beer lover.
Also…no one gives a shit for how much you make.
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Not a single mention of hipsters anywhere in the post. If there were, we’d be talking about PBR.
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Go figure, someone who proclaims themselves “democratic” also proclaims they’re “smarter than you”; who would’ve guessed?! …and no, I’m definitely not republican.
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