I write this next sentence sincerely: Weezer is one of the most divisive bands of our lifetimes. Two prevailing opinions dominate the discussion and show what kind of Weezer fan you are: the early stuff is the best, or Weezer is just hitting their stride. Whatever side you’re on, here is the definitive guide to what you should drink when enjoying Weezer.

The Blue Album l Bells Brewery Two Hearted Ale

A classic for a classic. As the tinny, distinct guitar riff at the beginning of My Name is Jonas hits, you’ll be sipping liquid delight as Two Hearted’s hop profile washes over you. Two Hearted is the definition of what an American IPA is, and as you make your way through Weezer’s hit-riddled, defining album, it’s just the right beer you want to listen to as a young Rivers Cuomo sing about girls, relationships and being a dork. And as you go from hits like My Name is Jonas, to Undone, to Surf Wax America, to Say It Ain’t So, Two Hearted will be your friend along the way. Then when you hit the booming bass-laden Only In Dreams, your 41-minute journey with a classic album and a classic beer will be complete.

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Pinkerton l Three Floyds Brewing Zombie Dust

God, is it edgy and brash. Weezer followed its wild, unexpected success in the Blue Album, with an album that had 100 percent more Raditude (I won’t have an official pairing for Raditude, but may I suggest taking a Two Hearted and adding water to it because Raditude is a water-down, worse version of the Blue Album. Change my mind.) But to compliment the edginess of Weezer’s sophomore effort, you need a beer that’s sharper and more distinct than Two Hearted, and you need another beer that’s raised to cult classic status. You need dust and dust and dust and dust in, none other than Zombie Dust. While Pinkerton didn’t replicate the success of the Blue Album, it’s solidified its place in Weezer fandom everywhere, and at only 34 minutes and 37 seconds, it’s a rollercoaster ride of sharp, twinging guitars and loud, in-your-face lyrics. Zombie Dust, too, is a mix of sharp, twinging citrus flavors and loud, in-your-face bitterness.

 

The Green Album l Modern Times Nectarnomicon Maui Wowie Edition

Weezer returned to what made the Blue Album special in The Green Album, and made an experience with enough hits that are listenable, but ultimately bland-enough to not leave an impression either way. The defining hit, and apparently, Weezer’s most popular song in history (which came as a sincere shock to me, a Weezer fan) Island in the Sun came to define the Green Album. With its soft, tinny guitars and overly catchy lyrics, Island in the Sun transports you to a tropical paradise. And when you get there you need to have a tiki drink. Nectarnomicon isn’t quite a tiki drink, but if you served it to me in a coconut with a little umbrella, I wouldn’t know the difference. At 3.6 percent, this tropical delight will carry you through the tight 28 minutes that is The Green Album, and while you’ll enjoy Nectarnomicon at the time, you’ll find that a few months later, you’ll strain to remember exactly what made it so special, much like the Green Album.

 

 

Make Believe l Tree House Brewing Julius

This was my entry-point into Weezer, and while Beverly Hills was the defining Weezer song for a generation, mine was Perfect Situation. The brashness of Pinkerton is back, but it’s aged and become more refined. Weezer adopted a stadium sound with airy guitars, catchier lyrics and loads of generic mass appeal. 2005 was the perfect time for Make Believe, and Weezer’s renewed radioplay was just what the band needed. Make Believe is the mid-point of Weezer’s career, where the band went from trying to replicate The Blue Album, to exploring a new sound as Rivers’ aged into a new person. Julius is among the defining New England-Style IPAs, if not the defining New England-Style IPA. It’s overwhelming drinkable profile is immediately enjoyable as it hits on every inch of your pallet. Like Make Believe, Julius should be enjoyed fresh and enjoyed often.

The White Album l Southern Grist Brewing Banana Candy TANG Hill

To paraphrase Brad Pitt from Moneyball, “There’s the Blue Album, there’s Make Believe, then there’s 50 feet of crap, and then there’s us.” I’m skipping everything that came after Make Believe to bring us to The White Album. The White Album is when I became excited about Weezer again. Yes, there are hits in the Red Album, Raditude, Death to False Metal, Hurley and Everything Will be Alright In The End, and yes, there are enjoyable songs in the aforementioned albums, but ultimately they are not what Weezer is to me. The White Album was a return to form with Rivers’ embracing his inner dork and resurrecting, what by then had become, the Weezer of yesteryear. Southern Grist made a sensational summer delight in Banana Candy TANG Hill. Inspired by Runts’ bananas, the sourness of the beer cuts through a pallet and obliterates it, but while you’re drinking it and listening to The White Album, the beer calms down and rounds into a subtle, relaxed drinking experience, perfect for a hot summer day.

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The Teal Album l Marz Community Brewing Chug Life

What do you drink for an album full of covers? A copycat beer of the Champagne Beers of Beers, of course. Chug Life is Marz’s love letter to a certain beer that urges you to live the high life. While Weezer’s Teal Album has hits (curse you Toto), it’s not what Weezer is. It’s a fine album, but unlike Chug Life — which is delicious — can a cover album really be anything other than a cover album? Can a cover album be good? Like the Owl in the Tootsie Pops commercial, the world may never know.

Argue with the author on Twitter here.

 

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