So I’m sure you are either tired of hearing about the Golden Globes or forgot they happened already.

But bear with me whilst I do a brief recap told mostly in video and picture form.  There weren’t any really horrible moments that didn’t involve Anne Hathaway or Claire Danes, so I’ll just run you through my favorites/first five I could think of.

1. This:

In normal awards shows, the hosts goal is to be merely tolerable.  Just don’t make us hate you for keeping us awake half an hour longer than we intended.  So it is rare for an audience to stop caring about the awards (the whole reason they’re watching this in the first place) and just want more of the hosts.

2. Taylor Swift’s stank face when Adele won Best Original Song

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So we finally get to see what T.Swift not winning looks like.  So now I can say that her not winning an award is just as annoying as her winning one.  Girlfriend wasn’t so much surprised as clearly plotting her revenge.  Adele better watch her back or she might be the Nancy Kerrigan to Swift’s Tanya Harding.  Adele- if someone comes at your throat with a lead pipe….um, well…run, I guess.

3. This

4. Tommy Lee Jones is not amused. But I find his sourface delightful to no end.

5.  The Dog President gag during the Best Actor/Actress in a Television Film or Movie.

How do we make this a real film?  I mean, Amy’s character solves her own murder!  I would absolutely pay $9-14 dollars to see that happen.  And I would pay another $9-14 to see Tina maintain that mustache and wig for two hours.  I think everyone involved would win all of the things.  All of the things!

 

 

 

 

So we need to clear up this Jennifer Lawrence/Meryl Streep business

When one Ms. Jennifer Lawrence went up to accept her award for Best Actress is a Musical or Comedy, the first thing out of her mouth was, “I beat Meryl.”  I was aghast at this young pipsqueak of a lady so blatantly dissing the best actress of anyone’s lifetime.  But apparently she was referencing The First Wives Club.  

Now, ok yes, Bette Midler does say that in this film, but she says it about someone else’s award.  And oh yeah, its a movie. Its a grey area, yes.  But I think Jennifer Lawrence could maybe have practiced better judgement in her reference, especially since she actually beat Meryl Streep.

That thing we all thought Justin Timberlake is doing turned out to be that thing we all thought.

Tristan has already posted about this, but I would be remiss if I didn’t throw my two cents in.  So I actually totally forgot about this due to the above, but he’s doing an album called ‘The 20/20 Experience with Barbara Walters.‘  The first song is called ‘Suit & Tie.’

Look, music is not where my expertise lies.  I often hate songs then love them after hearing them again.  That being said, the best thing I can say about this is that it is a song.  So it has that going for it.  I’m sorry but I cannot immediately get on board with a song who says “Suit and tie shit” over and over.  Maybe that’s just me.  I seem to be constantly hoping he is mindfucking us, but maybe he intentionally released the worst song on the album.  If we even moderately like it, the rest of the album would surely blow our minds.  That’s how these things work…right?  Right?

I’m not going to tell you about Destiny’s Child joining Beyonce at the Super Bowl Half Time show

Because I want you to be surprised when it happens.  That is my gift to you.  I’m also not telling you because the story is just that they will be there and there’s no other interesting information.

Sorry Downton fans, we aren’t getting a simultaneous run with the UK next season

PBS basically said, “Hey, the ratings are strong regardless so whatever man.”  So we again have to wait months after the series has ran in the UK for it to be shown legally in the United States.  But for those of us who have friends who watched it illegally online before it aired in the United States and had certain plot lines spoiled for us, it isn’t exactly, “whatever man.”  This is serious business.  I mean, now I know what happens that particular character and I know the outcome of this particular cliffhanger due to some other circumstances.  I’m trying to be super vague for my fellow legal-watching compadres.  I think my point here is the following: You need to be more careful when talking about shows.  Ferret out where your companion is in the series before explicitly stating what happens.  Ferreting is your friend.