OKcupid. Yep, that’s right! Fasten your awkward-belts kiddos; we’re goin for a ride!  You are on OKcupid right? Well if you are single (or ‘available’) and you’re not already on it, you should be. Why is that? Well because frankly if your commute, your most recent breakup, and the occasional bout with adult acne aren’t enough to make you feel bad, OKcupid can do the rest.

I jest, but no, seriously. In addition to being your one-stop shop for dashed hopes and ambiguous rejection, it can also be a source of hilarious stories for cocktail parties, the occasional makeout sesh, and yes, yours truly has even had a couple of semi-successful “relationships.” I have even heard rumors that a few long-term, healthy relationships have come out of online dating, but until I see it with my own eyes, I remain skeptical. In my humble opinion, informed by fairly extensive OKcupid research, it’s best to take it all with a grain of salt and use it for what it is; a way to meet new people and get out of the house. Keep your mind open and your expectations firmly in check and you’ll do fine.

I should note that I live in Brooklyn, NY. This is relevant information because in New York City, OKcupid has reached an acceptance level in the general population that a single person in middle America can only dream of. This is largely because here in NYC we’re all a bit self-obsessed, ambitious, and burdened, all of which make for a ton of single people and a thriving polyamorous scene. Everyone here is on OKcupid! So much so that OKcupid launched a pilot events program that apparently doesn’t exist for other cities, (correct me if I am wrong.) Basically there is a button that says ‘Events’ just below your Visitors, Messages, and Quickmatch buttons that signals you as though you’ve got a message. So you click it and are then told that you have a high match who is going to some random event coming up. These events are organized by OKC and are fairly inexpensive and somewhat interesting, a trivia night, a karaoke night, etc. For me the first event that actually seemed worth going to was . . . you guessed it; a beer tasting.

“Marie, you have a high match in this event, so we’ll let you in!”

What?? You mean I can pay $19 measly dollars to drink 4 half pints of various delicious beers while making awkward conversation with guys whose match percentage I don’t even know*, at Breukelen Bier Merchants,one of Brooklyn’s craft beer joints that is so cool spelling falls into the realm of ‘poetic license’? Sign. Me. Up.

So I go. I felt like I looked cute upon leaving for the event but more closely resembled a drowned clown by the time I got there, thanks to a well timed downpour. But no matter. I quickly spotted my friend who had also signed up for the event and the place filled up quickly.

And before you ask, no, the analogy of an OKcupid mixer as compared to a beer sampling has not been lost on me, so let’s take a look at the evening’s offerings:

We started with a Full Sail Vendell Veizen Weizen Bock (7.2% ABV) which was a great way to start the evening, much like one of the first guys I talked to. He was nice with tons of interesting stuff to talk about, friendly, and knew how to work a room. The beer, in kind, is full of great flavor, bubbly, and is likely to be palatable to everyone. 

Our second tasting was the Victory Swing Session Saison (4.5%ABV). The beer has a great taste; sweet and spicy with punch that gets all up in your nose, but alas, it’s finishes with an ‘eh.’ Sort of reminds me of the intelligent, handsome, kind, non-creepy, non-desperate guy who was chatting me up and made it a point to say goodbye to me before he left and tell me that he would hit me up on OKcupid, and then didn’t. Great up front, but definite lack of follow through.

The Wild Onion Paddy Pale Ale (5.4%ABV) was our third beer, and this one I really liked. It’s got a citrus-y, floral thing going on from what is called a ‘dry hop.’ It is full, fizzy, and delightful. I don’t have a comparison to a guy for this beer so instead I’ll just drop you this little gem that happened inside my brain at one point during the evening:

“Did he just mention cat puke whilst trying to pick me up? Tell me he did not just mention cat puke. Nope. That really happened, right now, here, in my real life.” *downs rest of beer*

What? Did you think we were done with the awkwardness?

Anyway, we rounded out the night with a kick in the pants from the Port Jeff Tripel H (H3) (10.1% ABV) which was fantastic. It’s got a complex spicy hop thing going on that’s strong with soft undertones and a hell of a finish. Alas, there were no fellas at the event that blew me away as much as this beer did.

Perhaps most interesting for the PD crowd, I also got to meet Chris, a beer blogger for Brew York New York! So that was my highlight of the night, chatting him up about the art of being into craft beer without being pretentious. Check out his awesome blog!

A sampling of the other guys there included; the guy who apparently could not stop himself from “negging” with a too-cool-for-you attitude. No thanks; the tall brooding type whose attention was commandeered early on by a vivacious, pretty girl, never to be heard from again; and of course, a handful of other genuinely nice guys that my mind automatically friend-zoned.

What can I say? It’s tough out there for everybody. My friend ended up in a flirtatious thumb-wrestling match by the end of the night though. I hear they have met up a couple times since, so that potentially good thing came out of the evening. For me though, the success was in the beer and not so much the romance. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go confirm a date with a guy who had the good sense to put a tiny Cottonelle puppy in his profile pic.

 

*When signing up for events you can only see tiny, tiny profile pics, and can’t get to anyone’s username or profile. After the  event, they open it up and you can find everyone who was there.

Please note: Some names and/or stories may have been altered slightly or entirely in order to protect the awkward from themselves.