As Drew cleverly noted on Monday, sometimes Derby horse names can be downright ridiculous… that and indie band names.  So this week we asked our staff members if they had the chance to name their own Kentucky Derby horses, what that name would be.  As per usual hilarity ensued… oh and apologize to any card carrying members of PETA.

Sue: Liddell Engine that Could

Jason: Stache Before Class

Laura M: Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan, obviously. 

Gabe: A Shot and a Beer

Nate: The Slowest Horse in the Race

Cory: Reinheitsgebot

Phil: Hoof Hearted

Josh: Here’s Johnny

Drew: Filly Cheesesteak

CVM: I would have two horses. I would name the slower one First Place and the faster one Last Place and get the equine version of “Who’s on first?” going.

Coit: Horse D’Vours. (Horse-durrrrrrvs) just to conastantly trip up the commentator team.

Erin R: Retirement Plan: South of France

I feel like the colon is underused in horse names.

Drew: The colon is definitely used in horse-based Ikea meatballs.  Sorry, I had to.

Josh: “The first rule of naming a horse is that a name may consist of no more than 18 letters, and spaces and punctuation marks count as letters. Eighteencharacters is acceptable (and is, in fact, a registered horse name) but Eighteen Characters is not”- Mentalfloss.com Post

“Racier names that slipped past the Jockey Club’s reviewers.
Among them: Blow Me (1945),
Spank It (1985),
Date More Minors (1998),
Bodacious Tatas (1985),
Sexual Harassment (1997),
Hardawn (1937)
Hoochiecoochiemama (1989),
Panty Raid (2004),
Thong Thong Thong (1989),
Thong or Panties (2004), and, because the Jockey Club is an equal opportunity registry,
Boxers or Briefs (2007)”

Erin R- Then I change my name to: Retirement Plan