ABV: 10%

Okay, so to get a proper feel for the River Horse-Tripel Horse you are going to need a particular soundtrack. Remember Salt ‘n Pepa’s ‘Shoop’? Remember the breakdown where it’s all, “Oooh ooh ooh, I like whatcha do, when ya do, whatcha do . . .”? Got the tune in your head? That is your soundtrack for this beer.

In all honesty, I bought this beer because it had a hippo on the label and I thought that was adorable. It was only after I got home that I noticed the 10% ABV, at which point I realized why the hippo thinks he’s actually just a river horse; it is because he is very drunk indeed.

This beer did three things:

a.) Blew my damn mind.

b.) Got me surprise drunk. As in, oh you thought you would just have a couple beers on a Sunday night and, ‘”Surprise! You’re drunk!”

c.) Bowled me over with totally stellar flavors I did not think possible.

No, but seriously, you are going to be all, “Oh snap did Delirium Tremens and Brooklyn Lager just have a love-child in my mouth?? Because that is what it tastes like. This is probably because it is a Tripel like Delirium Tremens and because Salt ‘n Pepa are from Brooklyn and they clearly wrote that song about the Tripel Horse. It is bold and unconventional, sweet and spicy. The flavor is fierce and unapologetic. Dark and light all mixed together. It is totally cray.

Is it too soon to go ahead and call it my favorite beer of 2013? Maybe it is just the 10% ABV talking, but I think I am putting this beer on my list. And by that I mean, my list of beers for my friends to buy me on my birthday every year in lieu of a gift because let’s face it, giving real gifts is hard.