Ah, the Internet, that glorious repository of all things fantastic and frivolous. But as many of us know, the Internet never forgets. Sadly, there are those out there who missed the tutorial on how to ensure that things that are better forgotten are not posted to the Internet; one of these such individuals is former U.S. Congressman, Mr. Carlos Danger.

Now, Mister Danger, we realize that all of these messy twitpic Interwebs scandals can work up quite a thirst. So when your fingers tire from all of that taboo texting, invite your intern over for a nice cold brew. We have a few suggestions for you in this Ultimate 6er dedicated to pairing well with political missteps. -Cheers, Jaime Verboten

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Leatherlips IPA – The Tap Brewing Company
ABV: 5%
IBU: 50

Chat rooms can be exhausting but it is certain that your cyberparamour of choice will appreciate your thoughtfulness when you offer her a cold bottle of this  dry-hopped IPA. Deriving bitterness from Nugget and Chinook hops, it presents both those citrus and floral notes all hop heads seek out – sassy with a bit of edge, just like that lady on the Internet you never thought would ruin your chances of running the biggest city in the United States.

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Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’ Ale – Lagunitas Brewing Company
ABV: 7.5%
IBU: 64

Here’s another brassy brew that is sure to excite your palate with its “silky body”. This pale wheat ale is a general crowd pleaser, with enough bitterness to entice hop lovers alongside those slightly sweet wheat notes to delight those who are attracted to the more velvety numbers. With those high stress public office jobs, sometimes you just need a Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’. And at 7.5% ABV, it’s a great bang for your campaign dollars.

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#MashTag – BrewDog
ABV: 7.5%
IBU: 95

From those crafty Scots who brought us Tactical Nuclear Penguin comes the world’s first “truly democratic craft beer”. The Internet will respond to whatever junk you post on it, and it has manifested in this American Brown Ale chock full of hazelnuts and oak chips brewed with hops from the other Down Under (New Zealand). So kick back after a hard day of maxing out your data plan and relax with one of these unique crowdsourced beers. Pro tip: Be sure to share your experience through all forms of social media. How utterly refreshing democracy can be!

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Dick Danger Ale – Dick’s Brewing Company
ABV: 5.2%
IBU: 35 (approx.)

This one is especially for you, Mister Danger. Magnum hops lend just enough bitter notes to this “non-intrusive dark ale” that always leave you begging for more. Give those weary fingers a rest from your iPhone and wrap them around a cold Dick’s Danger for a refreshing break from the campaign trail.

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Ruination IPA – Stone Brewing Company
ABV: 7.7%
IBU: 100+

This “indelicate jewel” of a hop fest definitely deserves a few twitpics. Why DM when you could share this junk with the entire Twitterverse? What’s the worst that could happen? These immense bitter notes, coupled with flavors of tangy citrus, is liable to be ruinous to more than just your palate.

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Double Take Belgian White – Double Take Brewing
ABV: 5.4%
IBU: 12

Give your mouth a break from all of that bitterness with this unfiltered wheat ale. This “platinum pin-up” will be sure to refresh even the most unquenchable of thirsts with its exhilarating notes of orange and just enough spice to keep things interesting. After a few sips, you (and all of your Twitter followers), will say this brew is truly a “head snapper”!