Oh hey, guys. Did you know that The Bachelorette two part season finale aired last night and it was as actually epic as these shows can be? You didn’t? Well what a wonderful opportunity for me to fill you in.

To give you the short version, Des Hartsock (the Bachelorette) was positively heartbroken last week when her obvious number-one-choice, Brooks, told her the unfortunate truth we all hate to hear: I DON’T LOVE YOU. It was, as you would imagine, insanely brutal and probably the only time that has happened on this absurd “reality” franchise.

So, last week she cried most of the rest of the episode, and then this week she cried on and off throughout the episode EVEN THOUGH SHE STILL HAD TWO DUDES LEFT.  She sent Drew (the super hot hot hot guy) home and ended up accepting a proposal from Chris just a couple days after Brooks left.

And, apparently, the two are still engaged.

But everyone is like…uh….really?

APPARENTLY, the Des and Chris have agreed to only watch the “happy” parts of their journey (or something like that) which may be the only thing keeping them together. I mean, if Chris sees Des professing her undying love to Brooks just a couple of days before his proposal, do you really think he’s going to feel like toughin’ it out?

Girl, you cannot be crying about one dude and accepting a proposal from another. That just isn’t how this works.
Except, apparently, it is.

Des claims she was “so blindsided by Brooks that she couldn’t see the amazing guy right in front of her.” Or something like that. Isn’t that what you tell someone when you’re trying to convince yourself into love?!

There’s getting dumped on national television. Which sucks, of course. And then there’s settling on national television. Into an engagement. Which really, really suck.

Kudos to Des for being able to “get through the hurt” and find “true love” at the end of all this. But I think she just fell into the show’s notorious trap: accelerated false feelings. She probably was in love with Brooks — or at least she would have been truly in love with him had they actually dated in the real world for a little bit. But, because there was no other choice (except ending up completely alone and devastated on national television), Des just accepted her feelings of like towards Chris and let them accelerate at the end because, why not? He loves/loved/will love(?) her so much. He’ll never leave her side. He made that quite clear.

But, when you’re settling for something less than batshit crazy love, can you make the same promise?

No one wants to settle, but lots of people do. If you’re one of ’em, just be glad it’s not happening on national television. Amirite?