Many a Thanksgiving would be incomplete without football, and this year’s matchups between Green Bay and Detroit, Oakland and Dallas, and Pittsburgh and Baltimore should prove to be nothing short of what we’ve come to expect. But if you’re tired of hearing about the game on the gridiron, today is your lucky day. We asked our staff here at PorchDrinking.com who they’d prefer to see in a Thanksgiving Day battle instead, and our discussion took quite an interesting turn.

Lindsay: I personally would like to see just about anybody rough up Miley Cyrus, but that’s just me.

Andy H.: I personally would like to see a rematch of the Broncos and the Patriots, because that was one of the worst ways to lose a game. Go Broncos!

Justin V.: My match ups would be so American, just like Thanksgiving. Stop stealing our holiday, Canada!!! Anyway, it would be bare-knuckle boxing between Presidential election candidates. Abraham Lincoln versus Stephen Douglas, Dewey versus Truman, and for the Main Event: JFK vs. Nixon. How badass would that be?

Nate: I’m with Andy. Though, we might have to wait until January…

Tristan: I’d have Kim v Kanye, Miley v Bieber, and Lady Gaga v Ke$ha…basically people that I just can’t stand anymore.  Then that way we’d have 3 less annoying people on this planet.

Stacey: This pretty much sums it up — props to my editor here in DC for this piece: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/question-7-who-would-win-in-a-fight

Drew T.: Pilgrims vs. Indians….Too soon?

Erin P.: I would like to see a Thunderdome-style smackdown between the coaches of the biggest rivalries in NCAA Basketball. Coach Cal vs. Rick Pitino. Coach K vs. Williams. I think it would a great off-season event for all of us who are saddened that college basketball isn’t on every month of the year.

Philip: I’d like to see a battle between Sam Elliot and a Budweiser Clydesdale – preferably in claymation. Celebrity death match style.

Doug: Ditka vs. a hurricane. Only the hurricane’s name is Hurricane Ditka.

Marie: My match up: a debate about anything between the world’s greatest athletes and the world’s greatest philosophers.

Erin P.: Marie – There is really only one game that combines athleticism AND an analytic mind: TWISTER.

Tristan: Erin, what about the Hunger Games?

Erin P.: Pales in comparison to the sheer agility and mental acuity acquired to master the multi-colored floor mat.

Joshua K.: When I think of Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, flexibility is not one of the first things that come to mind.  Great facial hair, yes. Flexibility, no.

Katharine: There should totally be an undecathalon at the Olympics. 10 athletic sports plus logical proofs.

CVM: Fun fact for everyone: King Philip of Macedon brought Aristotle in to tutor his son Alexander the Great. If Aristotle is allowed a proxy, he would have one of the greatest warriors of all time.

Who do you wish you were watching duke it out tomorrow? Let us know in the comment section below!