Thursday’s James Comey testimony before the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence could end up being one of the most watched live broadcast court case since the OJ trials. The former FBI Director’s court appearance has generated such a buzz that several D.C. based bars already have plans to open early to broadcast the testimony.

Since we’ve spent so much time lately getting in the weeds covering brewery acquisition malarkey, we decided it was time to get back to our roots of creating absurd drinking games for random ass situations. So for all of those folks out there ready to throw back a brewski or Irish Covfefe on Thursday morning, we’ve got the James Comey Testimony Drinking Game primed and ready for you!

Take One Drink for the Mention of:

-Washington Post

-New York Times

-“I don’t recall”

-“I cannot discuss at this time”

-“Secretary Clinton”

-Someone stumbling on pronunciation of “Kislyak”

-Lester Holt

-Daniel Coats

-Robert Mueller

– Rod Rosenstein

-Fake news

-Memo or e-mail

Take Two Drinks for:

-“Crooked Hillary”

-“Lock her up”

-Comey’s height (6’ 7”)

-“Dossier”

-Mention of the President’s attempt to hug Comey

-Watergate

-Impeachment

-Sen Rubio takes a drink of water

-Someone stumbles on the pronunciation of Kislyak

Finish Your Beer:

-If any more cabinet members resign during the duration of the testimony coughJeffSessionscough

Specialty Rules When:

-Someone in the chamber is clearly asleep: 1 drink with your eyes closed

-Mention of Comey trying to blend in to White House curtains: Hide behind the nearest piece of furniture and finish your drink 

-“Russia is laughing”: Take a shot of vodka and laugh manically 

-Any mention of “Saturday Night Live,” “Veep,” “House of Cards,” or “Scandal”:1 drink, and donate to that Congressman’s next campaign 

-@realdonaldtrump tweets about something Comey says: Drink 3.5 shots of beer, or 140 ml; 1 ml for each character in a tweet.

–Every time someone says “The President” or “President Trump” and is still in clearly not thrilled about who the president is: Drink while holding your nose

-Every time Putin or Flynn are mentioned: Loudly proclaim “I’m not drinking” while taking a drink.

-If golden shower is actually uttered during this testimony: turn to your neighbor and dump the rest of your beer on them

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