For many, President Trump’s first State of the Union speech will be a tough one to view without also enjoying a few beers. Why drink out of anger, though, when you can turn a negative into a positive by making it into a drinking game? Sure, you may still find the entire ordeal infuriating, but at least it will afford you an opportunity to the celebrate how craft movement made American Beer Great Again.

Economics

• When you hear…
  …something about the tax cut or the Dow Jones average, take a drink
  …the term, “American Jobs,” drink up!
• If Trump mentions the national debt or student loans, drink twice. Debts suck.
• If “Amazing,” “Yuge” or “Great Things” is used with any of the above, take three YUGE drinks.
• If any bold claim associating any of the above is probably the biggest or greatest in history, chug your beer.

Patriotism

• If Trump says, “America First” or “Make America Great Again,” take a healthy sip.
• If Trump brings up the National Anthem and/or the NFL, uh oh, you better take two drinks.
• If there’s any mention of Russia, be worried. Chug your beer (a Russian Imperial Stout, if you have one).

 

• 

Immigration

• Any mentions of the wall, Dreamers or DACA, drink once.
• If Trump predicts Mexico will pay for the wall, take three healthy drinks (preferably a Mexican Cerveza-style beer).
• If the President Speaks of Africa or Haiti in a positive light, chug and then pinch yourself. You may be asleep.

Minorities & Women

• If Trump mentions helping women or minorities, take two drinks, and grab yourself by the p***y.
• If Trump mentions women and the camera flashes to Ivanka or Melania, drink the rest of your beer.

Politics 

• Any mention of judges or the court system, sip your beer.
• Any talk about bipartisanship means you should take one drink.
• If the Republicans stand, but Democrats remain seated, stand up take one drink.
• If both parties stand up, that’s two drinks for you.
• If by some chance the Democrats stand up and GOP remains seated, stand up and chug a pint of DIPA.

via GIPHY

Defense

• Any talk related to North Korea will cost you two drinks.
• Any mention of nuclear arms or war, you better shotgun an entire high-ABV beer.
• Anytime the broadcast mentions “The Designated Survivor” take a drink and make someone in your party leave the room as your designated survivor.

Environment

• If Trump mentions solar-panel tariffs, take one gulp.
• If Trump discusses coal or oil, take one big gulp.
• If Trump denies climate change, take a monster gulp and strip down to your swim trunks. It’s about to get warm in here.
• If Trump mentions the EPA in a positive light, drink your beer and be sure to place your bottle or can in a recycle bin.

Miscellaneous & Special Rules

• If Trump mentions Fake News, pretend to drink while reading a copy of the New York Times.
• If anyone falls asleep, drink with your eyes closed.
• If Trump mentions a plan for funding infrastructure, create your own flight.
• If Trump alludes to running for a second term, chug a YUGE beer, then practice your best spit take.
• During any mention of the opposition response, everyone in your watch party must speak with a Boston / John F. Kennedy accent then take a drink.
• If Trump mentions Mars, find an Imperial (big) Red beer and take four drinks (for the 4th planet).

Feature Image (Jim Lo Scalzo / Associated Press)

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