It may not be a presidential election year, but it feels like the stakes are higher this year than any other midterm election year in recent memory. With highly combustible perspectives on initiatives like reproductive rights, immigration, inflation, gun violence, and election fraud all weighing heavily on the country it feels like a major turning point for the country.

With as stressful and anxiety-ridden as this election might be, we thought we’d lighten up the room a bit by reviving our Midterm Election Night Drinking Game. If anything, pour yourself a few glasses of something nice and easy-drinking and find solace in the fact that you now have a two-year reprieve from political mailers, robocalls, and SPAM texts.

So kick back, take a deep breath, and enjoy a bit of levity with our 2022 Midterm Election Night Drinking Game. Keep in mind, that we in no way recommend that you actually adhere to the rules presented below as you would assuredly require a trip to the hospital. This post was meant as a parody. Please drink responsibly.

Special thanks to Mathew Powers and Emma Wargolet for their contributions in co-authoring this piece.

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Kicking Off the 2022 Midterm Election Night Drinking Game

• If you’re watching election coverage without rocking an “I Voted” sticker: Take one drink.
• Any time you hear the phrase “control of the House, Senate, or Congress”: Take one drink then yell “King of the Castle”
• Blue Wave or Red Wave mentioned: Take 1 group drink while everyone in the room performs the wave. (Person on the far left takes a drink, then the person next to him or her, and so on until the person on the far right takes the last drink.)
• Any time the phrase “too close to call” is uttered: Take one drink.
• Any time a state is declared for a candidate: Name the state’s capital city or sip the number of electoral votes awarded from the state. (Better brush up on your state capitals before playing along… but really, please drink responsibly)

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Voting Numbers & Analysis

• Any mention of exit polling or Nate Silver & FiveThirtyEight: Project how many drinks you’ll consume tonight, then take one more drink.
• Any mention of Daniel Dale or fact-checking the candidates: Announce how many drinks you’ve actually consumed thus far, then take another drink.
• When Steve Kornacki brings up stats you don’t truly understand: Take the number of empty beer cans lying around in the room, divide it by the number of people at your party, and take that many drinks.
• Any mention of “new voting demographics”: One drink.
• Any mention of “highest voter turnout since _____”: One drink.
• If you hear someone say, “This is the most important/consequential election”: Two drinks.
• Any mention of your current Congressperson/Senator/Governor by name: One drink.
• Explanation of what “too early to call” / “too close to call” means: One drink.
• If an election-denier candidate wins a seat: Lie about the number of drinks you’ve had then take another drink
• If a contested Congressional seat flips: Change seats and take a drink.
• Any mention of voter fraud: Pretend to take a drink.

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Politics & The Candidates

• Any talk about a potential candidate for President in 2024: Take one drink.
• Take a shot if any outlet references a celebrity without any political experience as a viable candidate in 2024.
• Any time any dude tries to mansplain abortion or reproductive rights: Finish your drink then give a TedTalk about something that you have zero knowledge or experience in.
• Any reference to the legalization of marijuana: Take a long toke or edible.
• Any reference to Dr. Oz: Enjoy a $20 crudité and a shot of Patron.
• Any reference to Herschel Walker: Make a citizen’s arrest of someone at your watch party before taking a drink.
• Any reference to Beto O’Rourke: Shotgun a Lone Star.
• Any reference to Greg Abbott: Cut off the power to your house and drink the coldest beer possible.
• Any reference to Ron DeSantis: Take a drink while rocking your ugliest tallest pair of boots.
• In the inexplicable event that Marjorie Taylor Green admits to being wrong about anything or Lauren Bobert denounces gun violence: Break open your most expensive bottle of beer or bourbon that you’ve been saving because the world is officially ending and may as well enjoy the good stuff.

Current Events

• If the price of gas is mentioned make a fart noise and take a drink.
• If inflation is mentioned, take a drink… or rather a half drink since you can no longer afford a full one.
• For any mention of illegal immigration, drink an imported beer then ship some to a friend in New England.
• For any mention of climate change, let your beer turn warm then take a drink and pretend like it didn’t happen.
• For any mention of studen loans borrow a beer from a roommate then tell them that loan has been forgiven by the government.
• For any mention of Kyrie Irving or Kanye, stay off social media and instead make a donation to the Anti-Defamation League or to a synagogue in your neighborhood.

Technology

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• Any reference to Tik Tok as part of a candidate’s campaign: Do a viral Tik Tok dance and take a drink
• Smartboards are being gratuitously used to illustrate a point for no reason: Get out your crayons and color in your own election map then take a drink.
• Technical issues with a reporter in the field: One drink.
• Introduction of an unnecessary, pointless piece of technology: One drink.
• Anytime you catch yourself also reading the same news from your phone as what’s being discussed on TV: One drink.

Media & Live Shots

• More than four pundits are shown sitting at a table together: Take one drink. Tack on one more drink for every extra pundit sitting at that table.
• Anytime a completely random, totally unrelated statistic is referenced: Randomly make up the number of drinks to dole out to others in the room.
• Fake News mention: Pretend to take a shot.
• Pan to a local dining or drinking establishment: One drink.
• If they show the results for an uncontested race: One drink.
• “Breaking news” or “Key race alert” graphic, just to announce that a race is close, not yet called: one drink (max five drinks for the night).

Geography

• “Trump country” mention: One drink.
• If your home state is mentioned: One drink.
• Gerrymandering mention: Re-arrange all of the furniture in the room and take one drink.
• Any reference to the outcome of Pennsylvania’s election and its importance: Refer to anyone in the room as “Yinz” then take one drink of Yuengling, if available.
• Any time Putin, Ukraine, or Russia is referenced: Take a shot of vodka.

The Morning After

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• One full pot of coffee and perhaps a little hair of the dog because while Wednesday is still a workday, we probably still won’t know the results for several days.

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