Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image
Scroll to top

Top

#theforceawakens Archives – PorchDrinking.com

Election 2016 | The Star Wars Party Awakens

September 14, 2016 |

Just about 2 months to go until the god-awful election season is over. Thank goodness. And if you’re one of the many people struggling to find a candidate you care about, we’ve already asked you to consider the GOT Party – in other words, the murder-y borderline-evil characters from HBO’s “Game of Thrones.” It’s a small step in the right direction.

But “Game of Thrones” isn’t the only pop culture institution with characters who could run for President this election season. There are plenty of powerful leaders in a galaxy far, far away who could feasibly make America great again.

That’s right. We invented a political party. The Star Wars Party.

Republicans, Democrats, and Independents alike could stand to take a look at The Star Wars Party. Below, we take a look at a few potential nominees. Like all politicians, they have their pros and cons, but maybe you can find someone you’d vote for this election if you were Forced to.

So contact your state board of elections and let them know you’re changing your affiliation to the Star Wars Party. Because in a messed up two-party system, this Star Wars party could be a new hope for America.


Read More

Ultimate 6er | Beers for Twitter’s Emo Kylo Ren

January 6, 2016 |

Kylo Ren is the absolute worst. The short-tempered, Force-powered, hero-killing Generation Xer earned that ass kicking at the end of Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

While Kylo Ren is a tough guy to like, Twitter’s Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) is another story. The genius parody handle is a digital diary of the Dark Side knight. And you guys, life is soooo not easy for Emo Kylo Ren.

Read More

Welcome to the InterNEAT! Volume 119

December 31, 2015 |

What’s good, everybody? Happy New Year! Start your year off right, full of heart, wonder, promise… and by reading this so you have a respite from keeping those pesky … Read More