The polar vortex, amiright?  The weather has kept me locked up in my apartment trying to pretend the world isn’t freezing to death outside.  But you know the problem with my apartment? Windows. There’s no way to completely escape the fact that outside it is colder than the icy stare of Taylor Swift when she’s lost an award she clearly thought she won. So we all need some good old fashioned Hollywood escapism to get us through the back half of winter.  Here’s your 2014 Spring Movie Preview of what you should see every week, from now until the month of May aka when Hollywood decided Summer starts.

March 8

I mean, this will certainly accomplish the goal of making you forget the out of doors. But at what cost?

March 15

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

March 21

This week has a few different options, depending on your mood. If you’re feeling nostalgic and/or family friendly or just want to see a feel good movie:

If you want something a little more PG-13 apocalypse-y

Or if you want something more adult…well and juvenile at the same time:

March 28

This one isn’t so much an escape from the weather as it is a reminder that things could be so much worse

April 4

I don’t really need a feature length film to forget all my woes- I just need to drown my sorrows in the pools that are Chris Evans’ eyes.

April 11

This weekend is a bit of a conundrum.  You got a film named Joe starring a man named Nic.  You got a film with a lot of great actors who made some interesting choices with their hair and also Tilda Swinton. Either way you go, you might need to go see Muppets Most Wanted again to even yourself out.

April 18

I’m sure it will be nice this weekend.  Go outside.  If not, go see Captain America again.  Otherwise, this is what you’re working with:

April 25

As the great Pete Holmes said, “ugh, men. Right?”

And that brings us to May.  Hopefully by now everyone has thawed.  Go have a drink outside. You deserve it.