The geniuses at Netflix knew exactly what all of our empty hearts desired on Valentine’s Day: a brand new season of intrigue, backstabbing, and scandal on House of Cards. So if you decided to spend V-Day the right way this year – watching Netflix and drinking – we have a few tips to maximize your House of Cards experience with a House of Cards drinking game. Bundle up, PorchDrinkers, it’s going to be a cold one in Washington.

The UPDATED House of Cards Drinking Game!

• Take a sip every time Frank Underwood talks directly to the camera.
• Take a sip every time someone gets a text and the text is posted on the screen.
• Take a sip every time Claire or Frank smoke by the window. Double drink if they are sharing a cigarette.
• Yell “POWA!” and take a sip every time Frank talks about power.
• Take a sip every time Frank raps his knuckles on a table.
• Take a sip and check your phone every time you hear Frank’s ringtone. Take a second sip if you just sang his ringtone after reading this.
• Take a sip every time Claire calls Frank “Francis.”
• Avert your eyes and take a sip every time you are grossed out by Zoe’s apartment.
• Take a sip every time Gillian talks about being pregnant.
• Take a sip and fan yourself with your hand every time there is tasteful nudity.
• Take a sip every time Lucas gives his puppy dog look (you all know exactly what I’m talking about).
• For DC people: take a sip every time you see something that is supposed to be in DC, but is definitely not in DC.
• Run in place and take a shot every time someone goes on a jog.
• Take a shot every time Doug fixes a problem or meets someone in a diner. Double shot if he is paying someone off in a diner.
• Take a shot every time Frank eats Freddy’s BBQ.
• Take a shot every time someone talks about daddy issues.
• Take a shot every time an actual political commentator makes an appearance.
• Take a shot every time Frank actually does Congressional work (i.e. – votes, approves legislation, etc).
• Waterfall when Frank is on the rowing machine.
• Stand up and make a grandiose toast if someone is attending a big party, is dressed in black tie, or just drinks a lot of alcohol.
• Finish your drink if someone is offed/murdered/dies of strange circumstances (this includes animals).
• Shed a single tear and look off longingly into the distance every time Claire alludes to having children.
• Pour one out every time Peter Russo is mentioned.

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