Like many students around the country at various levels of education, I’m working for free and/or “experience”. After spending the last semester being completely confused about how criminal law works and what type of intent is needed for what aspect a crime (trust me, it’s harder than you think,) I decided to lean in and work at the Prosecutor’s office for the summer. It took three days of looking into criminal minds before I began to consider moving into a cave and never speaking to anyone again… because everyone in the world is terrible.

Admittedly, if you only get to look at the worst of the human race, you’re never gonna have a positive outlook on people in general. However, as I’ve been working, I’ve realized that so many of my favorite songs revolve around committing crimes — both petty and absolutely terrible. And it’s all types of artists, too, not just the “bad boys” like Eminem and Johnny Cash. Cher who, alongside Sonny, was vocally clean-cut and anti-drug has like four different songs about killing her lover. Stars, friendly Canadians who sing all about various forms of love, also sing a slow and mournful song about tearing apart the city and beating a stranger for fun. It seems we all have a little criminal buried deep within us.

So, for your listening pleasure and observation, I’ve collected a little medley of songs about committing crimes to release the criminal minds in all of us — from murder and assault to rioting and drug use (it ain’t legal everywhere, Coloradans.) It serves as a reminder that, even to the hardcore retributivist, we are punishing too much where it isn’t justified.

 

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